New Slogans For Heinz?

Check out these hilarious slogans, courtesy of opinionjournal.com

"Only an idiot would use mustard."
"Our flavor is stronger at home and respected in the world."
"Foreign leaders prefer ketchup."
"Ketchup: C'est magnifique."
"The taste that's smeared--smeared--in your memory."
"For your papases fritas, your pommes frites, your patate fritte and your fritadas francesas."
"Mustard: The wrong condiment in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"By the way, served in your kitchen."
"Too good for the common man."
"Hunt's is for scumbags."
"It's red, like the blood John Kerry spilled in Vietnam."